Loyal Dog

Have you ever had one of those days, you know the ones I’m talking about, where you look over at the person that you have bound yourself to for a lifetime and just thought “Shit.”

It’s not that the person is inherently bad, they don’t beat you, they don’t assault you verbally— let’s all be honest, we’ve all said something to our significant other at one time or another that was cruel and hurtful — what I’m saying is that it’s not habitual. Okay, now that I’ve got that straight, back to the original topic. It’s just that… something. You can’t really put your finger on it, just something that rubs you the wrong way. Not necessarily forever, just from time to time.

From time to time I find myself thinking of my significant other like a loyal dog. Not the perfect pet, but the devoted but poorly trained one. The dog that you couldn’t wait to own, but once you got him home and the “honeymoon” period ended you realized that you had a DOG. A dog that doesn’t stray to anyone else for companionship – so he’s not a hound – but who’s just a bad dog.

You come home from a hard day at work and he jumps on you, putting muddy paw prints on your dry clean only suit. Your fixing dinner and he stand up at the counter and snags the steak you just cooked. You bring him home a new chew toy and take him for a long walk. Then you leave him home so you can take an hour or two to do something for yourself and come back only to find your favorite Italian pumps chewed up and a “present” left in the hall.

Your friends and family ask why you keep him around, but you’ve had him so long now that he’s just part of the family and you care about him, even if he frustrates you. After all he has some redeeming qualities, there companionship and he’s loyal. He may go bounding through the woods with his guy dog friends, but always comes home at the end of the day. He snuggles up on the bed, and he makes you feel safe in the middle of the night.

Starting the New Year in the ER

We're home... made it in around 5-5:30. We went in to the ER around 11:30 with my youngest gasping for breath, complaining of pain in the right side of his chest, and a temperature of nearly 103. After chest x-rays, blood work, oxygen, IV fluids and antibiotics and a couple of discussions about transferring him to a hospital that had a pediatric unit, his temperature decreased and his breathing rate finally slowed down enough that the ER doc let us take him home with a prescription javascript:void(0)for a continued hefty dose of antibiotics. Diagnosis is bronchitis/pneumonia - the x-ray didn't give a clear picture of the congestion location.

As of now - he's still coughing, breathing a bit raspy, but much slower than it's been and he doesn't feel like he has a temperature any longer.

The Wednesday Before Christmas...

Today was definitely a busy day. The little man got up at six am and although he joined daddy & I in bed, I didn't get much sleep after that.

We got up around 8:30, oh the join of a work at home day... getting to "sleep" late, well at least not having to get up & get going as early.

Got work done and hemmed up my little guys dress slacks during lunch. Dad coordinated everyone getting dressed and with a little assistance from mom all the kiddos were ready to see Santa.

Unbelievable.. we managed to see the Legendary Santa with only a 30 minute wait! We normally have a 1 1/2 - 3 hour wait. After Santa we had a nice dinner with Nana and then home to decorate the tree.

The little guy crashed out around 11:15, the older two are still going and will until we kick them out & off to bed (teenagers!).

Now, just to get the last few items on the list & we'll be all ready for the bid day.

A Better Day

Today's been a bit better. I'm not sure if my hubby actually remembers all that went on last night... he says he does, but at the same time appears surprised when I tell him he wanted to throw things at the tv. I just don't know... he's at least talking to me now, and seams in better spirits.

Rough Night

It's been an emotional night. The hubby's currently sleeping on the sofa.

I don't think he's eaten anything in the last 24 hours. I'm afraid he's on another depression spiral.

Another Year

Today is the first day of the fourteenth year of my marriage.

You'd think after thirteen years together you'd know someone. They'd know you. What I've found is that's not true. I don't know my husband better now that I did thirteen years ago, and I liked him a whole lot better then than now. Now, don't get me wrong, I love him - I just don't like him all the time. As for him knowing me... I don't think he knows who I am at all.

With three children ranging from 15 to 8 I feel like I'm loosing my mind. My oldest two are in the midst of teenage hormones and rebellion while my youngest is special needs and is very much a mommy's boy, but then developmentally he's still 4 or 5, even if he's 120+ lbs and physically hitting some early puberty issues himself.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm just whining. I'm exhausted, physically some - mentally completely. I'm the working adult in our household. And i have some resentment over that. Not that I'm working. The fact that I'm able to provide is a relief in this economic climate. It's that I'm the only income and not because of job loss, but lack wanting one.

I'm frustrated over being have to be the responsible one... the bill payer, the schedule keeper, the homework helper, the school intermediary, the cook, the laundress, the housekeeper (admittedly a bad one). I don't do everything, but it feels like a disproportionate division.

I'm just so tired.